Writing is a gift so mysterious and wonderful, that it baffles us in its simplicity. It creates longings so deep that inspires and stirs our soul. It gives us clarity about who we are and how we fit into a much bigger story. It pulls at us, compelling us to tell our own stories as we connect with others.
I’ve been teased by writing’s crooked finger ever since I was a little girl. Writing told me come here there’s so much more I need to tell you. I willingly followed that sultry voice that drew me deeper into the secret imaginings of yet another story.
I first knew the secret delights of hearing a story, when my mom would pull up a chair at night and sit on a creaky wooden chair in the hallway between the two room where us four kids slept. She would read and I would listen intently and tried so hard to stay awake until the words ‘the end’ were spoken, but often falling asleep before.
I began to tell stories by speaking them. When I went with our dog Barney to chase the cows home for milking time, I would tell the cows stories as I walked back to the barn. I was happy to learn to read and write because it meant I could read and imagine more stories.
Crushed Dreams However, something stopped my excitement for stories. Words spoken to me caused me to see writing as a curse, rather than a gift I’d been given.
When my grade four teacher said my handwriting was awful and sent me home everyday after school to learn to write better, I began to believe that I wasn’t good at writing.
I started to think of stories as something that I could only tell my animal friends, but I couldn’t write down stories because I wasn’t good at writing. Didn’t I have someone in authority who confirmed that?
Looking back, I realize how silly that was. But the fear of not being good enough to write combined with someone who confirming those thoughts, was very real. It caused me to NOT pick myself.
I began to believe that for me, writing was not a gift. It was a curse. In fact, it was something that I loved, but could only ever be teased with, because storytelling was something that I couldn’t do.
So I shut that part of myself off. I gave up on the dream of writing. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-thirties, when I was homeschooling our four munchkins, that the dream returned.
Dreaming Once Again
However the dream didn’t come back to me alone. Standing right beside my dream… was fear. I went round and round in my mind, toying with my old dream. It was like holding forget-me-not flowers in my hands, pulling off each petal saying she loves writing; she loves it not.
After weeks of mentally pulling off a flower petal for each day, I ended up with ‘she loves writing.’ But a part of me held back, saying we’ll see. I guess you can try. I ended up writing part of a story.
For the next few years I dabbled here and there, the dream growing subtly stronger every year. However, fear of going all in, still held me back.
It wasn’t until eight years later, after getting to know some mentors online, bloggers, podcasters and other writers, that I had a revelation.
I realized for the first time since I was a little girl, that writing was a gift. I saw the lie I believed for so many years and chose to reject that untruth and believe the truth instead.
Writing and storytelling wasn’t a curse, but a blessing.
As I went to the page, everyday a little fearful, writing soon got a little easier. Telling a story became something delicious and satisfying once more.
I began to experience firsthand the magic of an early morning spent with my fingers flying across the keyboard while the rest of the world lay sleeping.
I learned about undiscovered territory and mysteries as my imagination worked overtime, spoon-feeding me new plot lines and mysterious characters.
For me this was like opening a beautiful new world. I was hooked.
Give Your Writing Dreams Another Chance Maybe you had a bad beginning where something someone said spoke death to your dreams and it stopped you from writing. Maybe like me, you began to see writing as a curse and not a gift. Maybe you’ve lived in fear of really going! all in.!
If that’s you, I want to encourage you today. Give your writing dreams another chance. Open your mind and heart to it’s possibilities.
Yes, there will be resistance that tries it’s hardest to stop you from creating anything. Suddenly you’ll be at the blank page and you’ll feel like you need to clean the house, fix tea or do anything else but write. I’ve experienced that a lot.
However, you’ll soon begin to realize the rewards writing creates, in return for your loyalty.
You’ll get a deeper sense that writing is your gateway to an unexplored land.
There is space. Space to breathe. Space to create. Space to try new things. There is room to explore the inner workings of your heart and mind before the wolves of the day appear, snarling and starved.
Early mornings is your secret cave. Writing is what holds the key to it’s mysteries.
The gifts writing offers are many:
It gives you clarity on your vision and dreams.
A new realization of how creativity fills your soul and adds to your life.
Understanding your authentic voice and the fuller picture of who you are.
!The beauty of inspiring others through your words.
I hope you will give yourself a chance to unwrap this gift. That you’ll see it through fresh eyes and allow yourself to dream again of new horizons and possibilities.
If you are someone whose dreams of writing have been crushed, I would love to help inspire you to dream again. I know much of the fear, doubt and insecurity you’re feeling. I’ve been there.
Scribbling words onto the page is a gift. It’s a present you get to unwrap every morning before the sun comes up and in the quiet hours of a late evening. A gift to be shared with the world.
Make the choice today to take that first step. Choose to believe in you and the gift of writing you’ve been given.
Lorna loves to write romance mixed with adventure and suspense. In between teaching music during the day and listening to other people’s stories on her podcast and blogging, she scribbles on her next fiction book. Helping writers to step past resistance to get their stories into the world, is one of her big passions. She is inspired everyday to keep writing by her husband who loves all art forms, and her fun-loving teenagers from whom she gets many ideas. you can connect with Lorna on Facebook, Twitter, and her website.